My Car is Trying to Kill Me



So, readers of this humble blog will remember two things.

First, I plan to get a Tesla sometime in the next year.

Second, it has been colder than a blue-balled witch in Chicago this winter.

My car added two and two and came up with a plan called, ‘Let’s Kill Alana.’

First, it was the catalytic converter going wonky, which activated the check-engine light, and guaranteed that i wouldn’t pass an emissions test unless I dropped about $1500 into the car.

When I declined to make the repairs, she stepped up her game. Next came the battery (nearly) dying on a night when it was eleven below zero. After I replaced the battery with the help of the nice people at Auto Zone (goodbye $120), it was a blowout on the expressway on Tuesday night when I was coming back from visiting a friend. Nothing like trying to get to the shoulder with cars blowing their horns at you while they zoom past at eighty miles an hour.

There is also nothing like trying to change a flat in a mini-mall parking lot in the dark, in the freezing cold, at eight o’clock, when some idiot (Hi, Dad!) marked the wrong prong of the lug wrench as the one to use! Which meant that the lug nuts GOT STUCK IN THE EFFING WRENCH when I tried to remove them.


So, long story short, I then spent another $500 on a new set of tires.

Like I said, the car is trying to kill me.

In other news, I am working on a new story while waiting for the artwork for “Polly Prude and the Virgin.” I really like the concept. The working title is “Mom’s Birthday Surprise.” Little does Maggie know what a BIG surprise her son is going to give her.

Hee hee.

By the way, my website now allows you to purchase stories from me directly, rather than going through Amazon or Smashwords. So if you’re inclined to but some erotica, and want to make sure I get a higher percentage of the money, here’s your chance!

Have a great night,




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