And yes, it has been a long time since we’ve talked. How are you?
Good, good. Glad to hear it. Me? Can’t complain. Except about the Chicago weather, which seems to be determined to live up to every negative stereotype it has. If someone can please explain to me why we are expecting snow on the fifth of April, I would be interested in hearing it.
Me, I blame evil spirits.
Not much going on here at the House That Porn Helps to Finance. The weather has been uniformly miserable. But, on the plus side, I am slowly getting my financial house in order. Two credit cards have been completely paid off in the last two months, and I have my steely gaze fixed on another. Watch out, Home Depot card! You’re next!
This is, of course, in preparation for the coming of the Tesla, which will replace the Pontiac That Wants To Kill Me. Yes, the Evil Pontiac is still taking up space in the garage. No, it hasn’t tried to murder me lately.
But that’s the thing with predators, you know. They lie motionless in the grass, waiting patiently, as some unwary creature separates itself from the herd. And then, when you least expect it…
Anyway, I am STILL waiting for Tesla to send me an e-mail telling me it’s time to actually order my car. Until then I have to wait, and drool uncontrollably whenever one passes me on the street.
Which leads me to the main point of this increasingly pointless post.
I AM HAVING A SALE ON MY WEBSITE OMG!!!
My wonderful publisher, Jo, recently updated my website so that interested readers can buy directly from me, rather than going through Smashwords or Amazon or Barnes & noble. The upside is that I get a better royalty payment. The downside is that VERY FEW people know about my website.
So here’s the deal. Buy a book at http://www.alanachurch.com in the month of April, and you will get a book of equal or lesser value FREE. Buy a book a day, walk away from April with THIRTY FREE BOOKS, all chock-full of wonderful erotic nastiness.
How can you resist? Short answer, you can’t.
So go now, go tomorrow, go this weekend, and BUY! Also, tell your friends, family, random strangers on the street, and send out messages on your social networking apps, all so that I WILL BECOME WEALTHY AND NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Here’s a link, and thanks for your patronage.